I can’t remember the last time I shared a funny story about what is going on in my life. So here we go!

I decided to make eggnog from scratch for the Access Thanksgiving Bash since I was planning on being a couple hours late. The idea was well conceived: I had a dozen eggs, half gallon of milk, and heavy whipping cream. It wasn’t, however, well thought out. I spent that Thursday morning warming up the eggs and half of the half gallon of milk in a 4-quart pot. I did not think to look for nutmeg, a vital ingredient in the eggnog making process. I figured I would pick some up after work and add it later. This didn’t add the depth of nutmeg flavor I was looking for, but it was subtle enough to be appreciated. I got off work very early, and made a run for Publix for the missing ingredients then my apartment to finish assembling the masterpiece. First I added the nutmeg to the chilled egg/milk concoction then I needed to whip up some fresh whipped cream from the heavy whipping cream. I did not, however, have an electric mixer; I beat that cream by hand with a whisk . . . it was pretty intense. After a few minutes of beating the “ing” out of this whipping cream it was whipped, and I added it to the eggnog to top it all off. One thing I didn’t quite think out was transportation. How would I move the bowl of eggnog to the coffee shop down the street? My car of course! Not the best idea ever. About a quarter of the nog found its way into the crack of the back seat of my car. I also thought to myself, “Self, if nobody drinks this experiment how will it stay cool and not kill anybody.” I called my buddy Pete to pick up some ice cream to dump into the eggnog and keep it cool. All seemed to be working out alright (minus the mishap in the back seat of my car). I showed up late to the bash and was greeted by many awesome folks. I laid my drink down at the dessert table and started to make my way around the room greeting all my friends at their respective tables. Pete finally showed up with a pint of ice cream, and we both went to check out the status of my mix. It was gone! People figured out what in the world that odd looking bowl with whipped cream was and drank the whole thing before I could add the ice cream to it. I was stunned, shocked, surprised and pleased. I ended up giving the pint of ice cream to a couple as they left the feast.

Unfortunately, the story is not over. My previous attempt to clean the back seat of my car was not enough to actually “clean” the eggnog. Within a few days the mixture of rotten egg, spoiled milk and whipped cream went sour big time. I picked up some stain remover that was labeled to work on upholstery from the same Publix I got the nutmeg from. That stuff didn’t work one bit. I was now driving everywhere with my windows down and still trying not to gag on the smell of death emitting from the crack of the back seat of my car. I met my buddy Andrew at Lake Miriam Starbucks to think of a way to get that smell out, so we proceeded to a car wash down the street to shampoo and vacuum that mess out. He was kind enough to take care of the whole seat and did a great job getting that shampoo all up in the crack and then vacuumed it all dry. The effort took most of the smell out, but there was still a hint of stench in the air. We stopped by a CVS to pick up a couple items, and I found some different car fragrances at the drug store. There was one called “Tropical Moment,” but I wasn’t convinced that a mere moment would overpower the smell that had possessed my car for so many moments already. There were also 3-packs of those dainty smelly things you hang on the rear-view mirror of the car for 50 cents cheaper. I wasn’t completely sold yet. I went back to the tropical device and thought to myself, “Self, if you purchase this bit you’re going to have to run the air conditioner to get bring that ‘Tropical Moment’ alive . . . it is 50 degrees outside!” I decided not to splurge for the moment. In the middle of this conundrum I spotted a spray promising to kill the bacteria causing the stench in my car. I was sold! It was the same price as the rear-view mirror smelly thingy. Andrew bought candy (I don’t know if that was relevant, but I thought I would throw that in there). Before Andrew jumped in the car with his candy, I decided to spray the beast down with this special spray. Now instead of smelling like the inside of a bad baby diaper it smelled like the inside of a bad baby diaper changing room. Hopefully this was a step in the right direction. We will find out in the morning.

All this to say if I knew this would be such a mess before I made the eggnog, I still would have done it. People enjoyed it. Granted I would have done a few things differently in hindsight, but it was a positive overall. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed living it. Enjoy spending the holidays with family and close friends, even if you have to spill a bit of eggnog in the back seat to make it happen.

Grace and Peace,
Josh