So I decided to journal on my blackberry at Lake Morton. I love it out here! It is like 2 blocks from the apt, and I just happen to see a shooting star on the way down. Amazing! So I've been dealing with trust lately. I started sharing some of my ideas with some buddies about trust. I talked to them about how people don't trust others with being the realistic, broken, and incomplete people they really are. I looked at him and told him we need to be the instruments of change. We need to be the folks who seek out the big issues in our own lives and become worthy of peoples trust. We need to allow God to unearth the madness within our hearts so we come closer to having the capacity of love we were originally intended. 

After dealing with those issues we need to take the time to allow others to warm up to us. People have barriers protecting their hearts for a reason. It is not my place to storm their temple, but it is my place to go through all the proper cleansing ceremonies to enter into their lives and hearts when the doors open. This is especially difficult for me. I am learning trust takes time. Most of the quick friendships I have made over the past few months were right and well intended, but they did not have the foundations of time and trust. Those tend to fall away as quickly as they were built. Granted, people are going to let you down, and I have let down people. With more time and deeper trust, however, any issue can be worked out in time and right intention. Right intention. That is part of this cleansing process. Without right intention things fail. I've seen myself make this mistake. I will become friends with somebody to obtain some item or feeling of accomplishment. Those fail. I am not making myself a trustworthy person in this case. If I make it into their circle of trust I will be defiling it. After I'm done doing whatever it was I tried to accomplish they build up more and stronger resistance to trust in their hearts.

There is so much more to talk about this issue, but I need to walk back to the apt; it is getting far too cold for my pullover to keep me and my fingers warm.

Grace and Peace,
Josh