It is so funny how I tend to use the high times in my life to evaluate where I am and where I’m going in life. It is also funny how I use these times to test my character. I see when times are hard, it is easy for me to be the good Christian guy who battles on in faith, but something happens when times aren’t so tough in my heart. I think I like the resistance. It makes me feel human, and it makes me feel stronger after the fact. I’ve spent the past couple days (and will continue on this path) of evaluating who I am as a person. I like who I am and who God has blessed me to be, but where have I gone wrong from that vision he has for my life. Where am I lacking balance? So I’ve isolated myself a small bit to pray on these things and let the answers come by the prompting of God. Today while driving, I finally heard a voice of clarity! It was telling me to embrace the heart of Jesus; that almost seemed to “simple” for me. I’ve been spending the past few months delving into Christ’s life, death, and resurrection (I have yet to journal on the resurrection yet, not the right time I guess), so all this made sense to me now. The more I focus on love and loving people the more my faults and shortcomings disappear. It is through the divine influence of God to break my bad habits and replace them with good ones. I have also noticed that God doesn’t want me to live some boring life where I lose my personality in the mix. He wants me to be me! I have started to notice, however, some topics I bring up far too often in conversation. It is almost like that same guitar lick that I resort to whenever I can’t quite hear my amp well enough when playing in a loud room. I know this conversation is safe because I’ve walked through it so many times before. I know this joke works because I have told it so many times before. I’m not abolishing humor or retiring from comedy (Office joke!), but I am trying to live in right balance so I have a greater capacity to love people. Just like that song in the prior blog stated, I want to love without conditions and apprehensions. I want to be the brother to mankind that God has called “me” to be (on a side note “that God has called ‘me’ to be” was very much intentional). I am willing to risk many things I hold dear in order to obtain this, and God will show me those things in the time to come. Kinda scary to think about, but I think I’m ready. Let me end this:

Father let me dedicate all this life to Thee
In whatever worldly state Thou would have me be
Not from sorrow, pain or care freedom dare I claim
This alone shall be my prayer, “Glorify Your Name”
Can a child presume to choose where or how to live
Can a father’s love refuse all the best to give
Let my glad heart while it sings Thee in all proclaim
And whatever the world may bring glorify Your name!

Grace and Peace,
Josh