There are a ton of times in my life where I feel honored to be a part of a moment. I just left Starbucks thinking about how big of an inconsiderate jerk I as all night, and walked out of my car towards the apartment to find a beautiful nightscape down at Lake Hollingsworth. I strayed from my typical route to the back door of the apartment to enjoy the moon and its reflection on the water. The scene was nothing short of amazing. There’s also this water bird in the water just a few feet away from me, unaware of my presence. Now the clouds are moving in covering the moon, and the reflection is gone. The clouds, however, seem to cause an odd glow about the sky around the moon, and the moons deflective brightness allows for a handful more celestial bodies to be seen. There appears to be a storm on the horizon, but the only affects I see are the sporadic flashes of lightning and the cool breeze originating from across the lake. Now the moon is completely blocked by the clouds, and somehow I’m picking up an internet connection from a nearby neighbor (kinda cool). Somehow I am a part of this moment. I am a part of this story in time. This second belongs to me and the birds and the clouds and the clouds and the stars. Even though I want to badly share this moment with somebody right now, I know it is not the proper season. Maybe next summer. Maybe next summer I can sit around and talk about this moment and how it made me whole. Maybe I can sit in full hindsight and reflect on how I learned honesty while still in kind, timely moderation (which would not have been the best use of words to explain my manner today). Maybe next summer I’ll be set, but wasn’t I hoping for that two summers ago or three summers ago. Was I? I honestly don’t think I was. I don’t think I had a big future to look forward to. I knew my heart beat for a purpose, but maybe I was more intrigued about the simple fact that it was still beating. Now, however, I look to the future with expectation. Not in a way that I miss this moment that I’m enjoying, but in a way that directly involves this moment I’m enjoying. Kinda cool to think about. I think I’m off to sleep know. Go enjoy some kind of moment with somebody. If not this summer, maybe next summer.

Grace and Peace,
Josh

 A bit of confusion, I find myself unrest
So I think about a concrete path.
I think about every excuse to keep me in this place
I think about a book or some type of guest to call,
But I hear a voice beckoning me to take a walk down a concrete path.

I muster up my strength and tighten up my bag.
I think of how absurd I appear,
But I cannot find my peace anywhere else
Besides this concrete path.
I walk down the street I’ve driven down many a time.
The crickets chirping cause my pace to drag.
I walk until I have no thought besides this concrete path.

I pass a couple strangers as they smoke a cigarette.
I try to nod at them as I pass.
They pay no attention to my gesture as I walk down this concrete path.
I see along the ground much garbage.
I don’t understand how people are so careless about this concrete path.

I’ve finally reached my journey’s end,
But only to realize I must begin again
Back towards my initial location on the other side of this concrete path.
On the way back I have an epiphany
I write it down in the back of my brain
To think about at a later time so I can enjoy this concrete path.

I have really enjoyed this moment of solitude.
I have finally found peace once again upon my soul.
I owe it to my guiding Spirit who called me to walk down that concrete path.

I love people!

I love to hang out with people and get to know them and what causes them to act the way they do. Every once in a while, however, I go a bit too far than my heart can handle. I’ll put an extra bit of effort that causes me to feel drained and unrest. In these moments, I have a tendency to try and find wholeness in my own way (which typically is not a good thing). After I have finally gotten over the failure I produce, I find a different way to find that peace that I lose when I exert myself. It is never the same method. Sometimes I fast and pray. Sometimes I watch a movie or a video game. Sometimes I read or write. Today it involved taking a little walk. It wasn’t a little walk; it was about an hour long walk. At first I didn’t want to do it since I didn’t have the proper shoes or even socks (really the lack there of), but I strapped on my backpack and took off.

It was difficult at first. I find it troubling to quite my mind. There are so many things I want to say to so many people, and it overwhelms me. When I finally muster up the strength and clarity to offer advice or even compliments, my mind can’t help but to wonder what they thought about what I had to say or how it has affected their day or lives. I also wonder if what I have said has been phrased wrong. Did I say what needed to be said in a way to where they understand and feel the emotion I was attempting to personify? I also can’t help but to think about them many philosophical thoughts rolling around in my head. Today it was about how I believe every person has a bit of advice/perspective/life experience to help others. Somebody else’s strengths or weaknesses can align with somebody else’s strengths and weaknesses to create a better community. I think this has a very Biblical overtone to it. I’m pretty sure that’s called the Church, but I kinda left this thought right there. I took this walk to relieve myself from thought, and this wasn’t the way to go about it.

The poem pretty much tells you the rest of the story. I’ve never really written a poem before. It’s pretty raw, and takes a bit to develop a meter, but I’m happy with it. I need to roll off to sleep now. I pray that all of you find the peace you desperately need. It might help to walk it off or run it off or sleep it off or maybe even talk it off. Just be keen to God’s nudge in the proper method for whatever season in your life you are in. He really does know best.

Grace and Peace,
Josh